Heaven

The day started out a little rocky but has ended on a really high note!

I didn’t get up and exercise today. It was on the plan, but I slept horribly and just couldn’t make it out of the bed at 6am when the alarm went off. That’s okay though as I just picked up the Plan after it said “return from Pro Club” and all was good. Trying REALLY hard not to beat myself up for that. And hoping I have a lot better sleep tonight. I’m really liking doing up the Daily Plans.

I had sent out a link to yesterday’s blog to some family and friends – to let them know where I was at as I really haven’t been much in touch. And this morning I got an email from my brother. He is just SO cool. I was incredibly touched by his kind, generous and loving words; he is such a great person. Somewhere along the way he “got it” and he eats very well, exercises and takes care of his spirit. In fact, there are very few people I know that enjoy life with more gusto than he does. I’m not talking the paint-the-town-red-get-drunk-and-party-hardy kind of enjoy. I’m talking enjoy. He gets it. He’s fun. Then he mentioned something he had talked about a few weeks ago – the possibility of climbing Mount Rainier in the spring of 2008 with me. I cannot tell you how much this has got me excited! See, my father was a lover of the mountains and he passed that love onto his son. He tried to instill it in his four daughters as well, and to varying degrees they got it too….except me. As life went along and I got heavier, going to the mountains “for a hike” meant more like going to the rack. I was horribly aware of my weight and how out of shape I was. I never noticed the scenery around me – it was all about getting through it. Eventually I just stopped and my relationships with my father and brother suffered for it. Now I have the opportunity to share something amazing with my brother. On one of the larger and arguably one of the toughest mountains in the United States. How cool is that??? The opportunity to get to know my brother more, to share something he loves and something I know I could learn to love is really inspiring. And, yes, to honor my father. Who also knew how to follow his spirit. This is still a long way off yet and this year will be all about loosing the rest of my weight and truly learning my new lifestyle. But dang it helps to have things to look forward to!

And not only did I get his email, but my inbox is now flooded with well wishes and loving notes from family and friends. I am so blessed! If I haven’t replied back yet it’s only because I’ve been a little overwhelmed (this goes especially for you Latosha – you and me are gonna make it!), but will call and/or reply very soon.

But why am I in Heaven, you may ask? Because not only did I stick to the eating plan today (as well as got some other stuff done) and I feel fabulous, I also went to my Adjustable Gastric Band (AGB) doctor and got completely loosened up. Oh. My. God. I had no idea what a relief it would be. To look at food and NOT wonder if I will throw it up or not. For the last five years I’ve lived with the pure frustration of trying to get meals down. I couldn't even eat solids in the morning – only a shake or other liquid would do. And even that took 45 minutes to go through. Other meals can take over 2 hours to finish. My snacks? 45 minutes, if I’m lucky. And I couldn’t even eat at the dinner table – it’s too ridged – I have to do what my husband calls “assume the position” and lean back on a comfortable sofa if I don’t want to throw up a meal. But now I don’t. I can eat and not throw up. Tonight I prepared a lovely dinner of fish, veggies and strawberries. I laid out place mats and had silverware out….and I ate with my husband (my son being asleep on the couch!). And we talked. And it was Heaven.

Tomorrow I’m making a two egg scramble with veggies for breakfast. Ya baby!!

Hugs to all,

Regan